Introduction to the Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships,Join the discussion
WebWith the aim of exploring how love and hate can-and frequently do-work together, The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating psychological exploration of intimate relationships in modern times. It is an invaluable resource to WebThe Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating psychological exploration of intimate relationships in modern time. It is an invaluable WebIntroduction to the Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships. This chapter discusses the importance of studying love and hate in intimate relationships, focusing WebJul 1, · Social psychology has made great advancements in understanding how our romantic relationships function and to some extent, dissolve. However, the social and WebWith the aim of exploring how love and hate can-and frequently do-work together, The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating ... read more
When we hate someone, we are more likely to wish they would suffer — or at least change who they are. Yet we do not have to listen to The Persuaders' soulful vocals to know that love and hate can coexist. If you've ever loved, you know that you can hate a person you love. But how is that possible? The most obvious scenario in which you hate and love a person at the same time is one in which your love is not reciprocated. If you think you are basically a lovable person, it can be hard to comprehend that someone you love might not love you. If you lack confidence already, this will be a further blow to your self-esteem. If you have some self-worth, you may temporarily be fooled into thinking that the lack of reciprocation of your love reveals a fundamental flaw in the other person.
It is easy enough to see how love and hate can coexist in cases of unreciprocated love. But you can hate a person you love even when your love is reciprocated, and even when you have an overall thriving relationship with them. This is one of the things that is paradoxical about love and love relationships — whether romantic or not. Having an actual "we-spend-time-together" relationship with another person on the basis of love romantic love , friendship love, parental love requires giving up a little of your autonomy and personal freedom. Sometimes you need to spend time with the other person. This leaves less time to do things that you would rather do at that very moment. Certainly, when my alarm goes off at in the morning so I can get ready to drive my daughter to school, I would much rather turn off the alarm and roll over for some more shut-eye — all else being equal.
But not all else is equal. When you have a relationship with another person, there will inevitably be times when you need to set aside your own preferences and heed the wishes or needs of the other. Sometimes you need to find a middle ground. If my daughter wants to watch three movies, and I want to watch one, we might end up watching two. Meeting the other person halfway also entails giving up some of your personal freedom. In Western cultures, at least, where the importance of autonomy and personal freedom is repeatedly emphasized, having to let go of your freedom to some extent may not always feel right, especially not if you are used to being on your own and doing whatever you want Brogaard, You may perceive the giving and the dealmaking as a sacrifice or punishment.
If you see your significant other as the reason for your loss of personal freedom, you may hate them a little — or a lot. In order to have a meaningful relationship with another person, you need to be able to be yourself. That is not always a good thing. We cannot always show our true colors to the people at work, in the grocery store, or on the subway. But you need to be able to do some of that at home. You need to let the other person see, and hear about, your weaknesses. But this means that you become vulnerable. We can hurt a person who is vulnerable considerably more than a person who has her guard up all the time.
That is part of what it means to be vulnerable. Katherine Aumer Editor. Social psychology has made great advancements in understanding how our romantic relationships function and to some extent, dissolve. However, the social and behavioral sciences in much of western scholarship often focus exclusively on the more positive aspects of intimate relationships--and less so on more controversial or unconventional aspects. The goal of this volume is to explore and illuminate some of these underrepresented aspects: aspects such as non-monogamy, female orgasm, sadism, and hate, that often function alongside love in intimate relationships. Ultimately, by looking at intimate relationships in this way, the volume contributes to and advocates for a more holistic and comprehensive view of intimate relationships. Throughout the volume, contributors from social, clinical, and evolutionary psychology cover love and hate from a variety of sometimes opposing perspectives.
The first section, covers love and the changing landscape of intimate relationships. Its chapters review the current literature and research of understudied topics like non-monogamy, female orgasm, sexual fantasies, and the viewpoint of love as something other than positive. The second section explores hate and how hate can operate in intimate relationships--for example, the appearance of sadistic behavior and debates the nature of hate as either a motivation or emotion. The volume concludes, by looking at ways in which the appearance of hate in relationships can be dealt with and overcome successfully. Taken together, these two sections reflect the full variety of experiences within intimate relationships. Bushman, B. Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding.
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28 6 , — Catharsis, aggression, and persuasive influence: Self-fulfilling or self-defeating prophecies? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76 3 , — CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar. Buckingham-Hatfield, S. Gender and environment. New York, NY: Routledge. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Act against AIDS: Focus on monogamy. National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends. Cohn, D. Census struggles to reach an accurate number on gay marriages. Pew Research Center. Conley, T. A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review , doi: Coontz, S. Marriage, a history: How love conquered marriage.
New York, NY: Penguin. Warner, Trans. Mineola, NY: Dover Publications Inc. Original work published B. Harris, M. Dump the NC rating. Entertainment Weekly. Kernberg, O. The psychopathology of hatred. Emde Eds. Madison, CT: International Universities Press. Klein, M. Envy and gratitude and other essays Hogarth Press, ; reprinted Virago, , pp. Koop, C. Public Health Reports, , 1—3. PubMed PubMed Central Google Scholar. Leitenberg, H. Sexual fantasy. Psychological Bulletin, 3 , Lindquist, K. Emotional complexity. Handbook of emotions , — Marber, D. New York, NY: Bloomsbury Publishing. Masters, W. Human Sexual Response. Toronto, New York: Bantam Books. Mathers, M. On Recovery [CD]. Santa Monica, CA: Interscope Records. McKellar, P. Provocation to anger and development of attitudes of hostility. British Journal of Psychology, 40 , — Misovich, S. Close relationship and elevated HIV risk behavior: Evidence and possible underlying psychological processes.
This chapter discusses the importance of studying love and hate in intimate relationships, focusing on how unconventional aspects of intimate relationships: Non-monogamy, female orgasm, sadism, and hate are often overlooked and undervalued in the social sciences. Within this volume, several researchers from a variety of disciplines within psychology use empirical and theoretical evidence to demonstrate the importance of these underrepresented aspects of intimate relationships. By shedding more light on how love and hate can work in intimate relationships given the changes in technology, values, and time, it is hoped that satisfaction in intimate relationships and understanding of relationship processes will increase.
This is a preview of subscription content, access via your institution. Averill, J. Anger and aggression: An essay on emotion. Google Scholar. Beck, A. Prisoners of hate: The cognitive basis of anger, hostility, and violence. HarperCollins Publishers. Blum, H. Clinical and developmental dimensions of hate. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 45 , — CrossRef Google Scholar. Bowlby, J. Separation: Anxiety and anger Vol. New York, NY: Basic books. Bushman, B. Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding.
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28 6 , — Catharsis, aggression, and persuasive influence: Self-fulfilling or self-defeating prophecies? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76 3 , — CrossRef PubMed Google Scholar. Buckingham-Hatfield, S. Gender and environment. New York, NY: Routledge. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Act against AIDS: Focus on monogamy. National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends. Cohn, D. Census struggles to reach an accurate number on gay marriages. Pew Research Center. Conley, T.
A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review , doi: Coontz, S. Marriage, a history: How love conquered marriage. New York, NY: Penguin. Warner, Trans. Mineola, NY: Dover Publications Inc. Original work published B. Harris, M. Dump the NC rating. Entertainment Weekly. Kernberg, O. The psychopathology of hatred. Emde Eds. Madison, CT: International Universities Press. Klein, M. Envy and gratitude and other essays Hogarth Press, ; reprinted Virago, , pp. Koop, C. Public Health Reports, , 1—3. PubMed PubMed Central Google Scholar. Leitenberg, H. Sexual fantasy. Psychological Bulletin, 3 , Lindquist, K. Emotional complexity.
Handbook of emotions , — Marber, D. New York, NY: Bloomsbury Publishing. Masters, W. Human Sexual Response. Toronto, New York: Bantam Books. Mathers, M. On Recovery [CD]. Santa Monica, CA: Interscope Records. McKellar, P. Provocation to anger and development of attitudes of hostility. British Journal of Psychology, 40 , — Misovich, S. Close relationship and elevated HIV risk behavior: Evidence and possible underlying psychological processes. Review of General Psychology, 1 , 72— Moss, D. Hating in the first person plural. New York: Other Press. Nowak, R. Polygamous possums turn to pairing for life. New Scientist, , Rempel, J. Let me count the ways: An integrative theory of love and hate.
Personal Relationships, 12 2 , — Shellenbarger, N. No Comfort in Numbers: Divorce Rate Varies Widely From Group to Group. The Wall Street Journal. Shiota, M. I love you but…: Cultural differences in complexity of emotional experience during interaction with a romantic partner. Cognition and Emotion, 24 5 , — Strasser, F. Emotions: experiences in existential psychotherapy and life. London: Duckworth. Oliver, M. Gender differences in sexuality: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 1 , Vitz, P. Kleinian psychodynamics and religious aspects of hatred as a defense mechanism. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 25 1 , 64—
The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships,Why we hate the people we love.
WebMar 27, · That Thin Line. The Persuaders were not, in fact, singing about hating and loving a person at the same time, but about love turning to hate. When lead singer WebJul 1, · Social psychology has made great advancements in understanding how our romantic relationships function and to some extent, dissolve. However, the social and WebWith the aim of exploring how love and hate can-and frequently do-work together, The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating psychological exploration of intimate relationships in modern times. It is an invaluable resource to WebWith the aim of exploring how love and hate can-and frequently do-work together, The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating WebRyan Fan. K Followers. Believer, Baltimore City IEP Chair, and marathon runner. Diehard fan of “The Wire.”. Support me by becoming a Medium member: WebThe Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating psychological exploration of intimate relationships in modern time. It is an invaluable ... read more
Moors Pages Kernberg, O. The volume concludes, by looking at ways in which the appearance of hate in relationships can be dealt with and overcome successfully. Handbook of emotions , — By shedding more light on how love and hate can work in intimate relationships given the changes in technology, values, and time, it is hoped that satisfaction in intimate relationships and understanding of relationship processes will increase. Meeting the other person halfway also entails giving up some of your personal freedom. Gender and environment.
htm Cohn, D. Ring Smart Home Security Systems. Each will be useful to graduate students and researchers interested in a specific subdomain. Its chapters review the current literature of the interaction between love, sex, and relationships, including the impact of technology on relationships. McKellar, P.
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